May 13, 2025

Nu trebuie să treacă nicio zi fără o porție copioasă de răs, iar pentru asta am pregătit un banc care cu siguranță îți va aduce zâmbetul de buze. Protagoniștii de astăzi formează un cuplu și au parte de o ceartă destul de dură. Deznodământul este hilar. 

Ceartă în cuplu:

El: – Tu nu ai cum să faci atac de cord pentru că nu ai inimă!

Ea: – Lasă, că nici tu nu o să faci meningită!

(CITEȘTE ȘI: BANC | „BULĂ, DE CE AI LIPSIT IERI DE LA ȘCOALĂ?”)

Maria se roagă de Ion să facă dragoste

Maria se roagă de Ion să facă dragoste. Ăsta, obosit, îi explică:

– Mă, Marie, ştii tu ce efort presupune o partidă de amor?

– Ce efort?

– Uite, mă, e ca şi cum eu te-aş lua în spate şi te-aş duce din Arad la Timişoara, pe jos.

– Hai, mă Ioane! Maria tot insistă şi Ion cedează.

După amorul sălbatic, Ion, lat, dă să se culce, dar Maria îl ia la întrebări:

– Auzi, mă, acum ce dracu’ faci, doar nu mă laşi la Timişoara…

Alte bancuri amuzante

Am fost la un interviu pentru angajare. La proba practică mi s-a spus:

– Ia laptopul meu și încearcă să mi-l vinzi!

Am pus mâna pe el, l-am luat sub braț și am ieșit din birou. După două minute am fost sunat să i-l aduc înapoi. I-am răspuns că asta îl costă 250 de euro.

 

Bulă ajunge acasă seara, obosit după o zi istovitoare de muncă. Deschide frigiderul și rămâne siderat. Începe să țipe la nevasta lui:

– Bubulino, Bubulino!

– Ce s-a întâmplat, Bulă, de ce urli?

– Unde-s cele 12 beri din frigider?! Nu mai este niciuna!

– Bulă, eu le-am băut, pentru că am gătit ciorbă și nu încăpea oala în frigider, din cauza lor.

 

Bulă și Ștrulă se uitau cu interes la o pereche de mănuși de cauciuc, expusă în vitrina unui magazin. După câteva minute bune de gândire, Ștrulă întreabă:

– Auzi, Bulă, stau și mă gândesc, la ce or fi bune mănușile astea de cauciuc?!

– Eh, Ștrulă, cum la ce?! Dacă le porți, te poți spăla pe mâini fără să te uzi.

(VEZI ȘI: BANC | „MI-A FUGIT NEVASTA CU UN MECANIC DE LOCOMOTIVĂ”)

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